-Title.No-

I'm very tempted to write something here.
But I don't know where to start.
Updates about my final year student life?
Or to blog about my concerns?
Or just leave all of them alone?

This is always my demotivated time, due to the overwhelmed time table; and now, 1.5 months till the end of my undergraduate student life, in the University of Nottingham Malaysia Campus.

I've just discovered a lot of wonderful things to do on campus, with friends I know in campus. I do not want to leave them now, without trying to do more things. The feeling of not wanting to leave is weird, because I'm totally sick of studying. Maybe it's me, or my learning style not matching with the teaching methods.

However, the company has been awesome so far.

I will miss them, really really a lot. I am proud to say my university life has been a magnificent one, and probably the best so far.

Typical Student

Group assignment due date in a week.

Been sleeping late for any other stuff than completing it.

I keep showing my stressed up face.

Procrastinating.

And not doing what I need to do.

F***ed up student life.

I have a lot of concerns in my mind.

I can't put my thoughts together and get them solved.

I am indeed avoiding.

I am indeed hiding.

I am scared.

Scared of unknowns.

Fear of making decisions right now.

Final year.

Unusually Ill etc.

Life has been very hectic since semester resumes.
Worst still, I have a terrible body that falls ill at all crucial time.
Partly because of my f***ed up life style I guess. (But I've been living such life style since few years back)
Lesson of the day: Stay healthy. Eat more supplements. LOL.

I am expecting something extra ordinary to happen in my final year. Well, to be honest, it's already quite epic up till now.
So, it should end epicly, I hope. Not f***ed up epic though.

So here I am, as a Final Year Student of Finance, Accounting & Management who doesn't plan to be an accountant or auditor.

I.Dream.Big.Hopefully.Yes.

Coming to an End

After telling all my best friends about her, it should come to an end.

Some say I don't dislike her only, I hate her.

Some say I should just ignore her and don't talk to her anymore.

Some say she sucks.

I say all these are not important anymore because whether or not she feels bad or sorry, or I feel sorry for all the suckiness I find on her that doesn't appeal to me, I am gonna face her with my genuine smile.

Though I complain THAT much about her, I think somehow one day I'm still gonna have this kind of people around me, as bad as being my colleagues or any other form of relationship.

So, for one last time, SCREW YOU and wish you all the best in your future undertakings.


You're officially out of my mind. YAY! :)

Y2 S2 Countdown @ UNNC

I'm left with two papers finally.
Having 7 papers isn't fun at all - there are 7 modules.
Fortunately, 7 papers in 3 weeks is still acceptable.
But as usual there are more shitty ones than OKs.
I have degraded my expectation to so low that I don't feel any impact after doing very shitty papers.
So how?

Once upon a time, I dreamed to achieve FIRST CLASS HONOUR.
I hope this dream sticks and I will go all out in my final year, despite foreseeing myself being busy with my society work as a VP.
I know I can do it, that's why I ran for the post initially, right?
I guess so.

This year, countdown means a lot to me as well - I'm finally stepping in the land with Tropical Forests and All Year Long Summer, again.
Yay! People, food, bed, WAIT FOR ME! :D

Of course, I will miss part of my life here - not just Taobao which I know I'll miss A LOT, but also the people and how much you can grumble just because you are an international student who is given very high priority and attention here as you are minority.
I'll miss the life on campus, where everything is so convenient, and you have people knocking on your door randomly, or staying in a friend's room to crap for hours and hours, or watching movie together.

Next, countdown means I am meeting my friend in Shanghai, I am travelling in Guilin before returning.
I am so looking forward to seeing Lavender field in Shanghai, and having fun with my homestay partner in her hometown.

I am so bored, and hence lots of selca are taken.

WYT: I'm showing off my new headphones on the right :P

Blink my eyes MORE and MORE, and everything will be over soon :')

Librans?

I feel so sad and pathetic for myself.
I feel like an idiot who hasn't learned enough from past experience.

I've tried all my best to self-motivate myself, in order to keep myself positive.
But...
Life's tend to be full of ups and downs.
Ups are always enjoyable but doesn't last long.
Downs always come to befriend with me, so afraid that I would be lonely.
Yet, I feel ultimately lonely when downs visit me.
Especially when you have happy people around you, and it seems like you're the only unhappy person.

This is pure stupid.

Doing half the group coursework myself?
I don't wanna voice out, because it will make them sound stupid, ultimately useless brats.
Fair enough, I carry 30/100 marks of the project, the hardest and heaviest 30 marks.
Hopefully they don't gimme trouble when I proof-read their work.
It will make me vomit.

Isn't this sad and pathetic?

I have everything against HER.
Why do I have such strong biased towards her?
Anything and everything about her, I have something to criticise on.
This is so childish.
Please get out of my sight so that I can be a big girl.
You need to stop talking to me so that I don't sound like an arrogant person in front of you.
I won't call you a bitch because you haven't reached that level.
You don't even have enough to reach that level.

It must be my problem as I don't wanna blame anyone else.
It is my problem for not communicating with them.
It is my problem to have initial good perception on them.
It is my problem that I can't tolerate with anything about her.
It is my problem to not understanding her, though I tried.

I can't help but to break my resolution, to complain here.

But, I am an October baby, a Libran.
I can't deny what horoscope tellers say about Librans because most of the time I find them matching, not me matching them but them matching my personality.

Was in such a bad mood that I decided to have a hair cut and take selca. Stupid!

Stupid.

Solution Obtained

I had decided to tell out my hidden feelings to the one I'm closest with in this campus.
I am glad that I made this decision, as who understands the whole situation other than her?

Solution:
她开心就好。(As long as she's happy with it.)

She should and needs to undergo all these. She's elder than me and it's fair enough for her to undergo all these at her age.

All my complaints should come to a stop, as it is my New Year's Resolution to complain less. I think I've used up my whole year quota to complain just on her. Sheeshhhh.

Thanks darlings, Michelle and Yi Theng :)

[Still, I talk to myself. If it was me, would I be like her? Well maybe it's not her problem afterall. Maybe she's trying to talk to us, just like before. But thing's changed and it is the damn true fact.
At this stage, I still think that family and friends are my utmost important people in life. I don't think I can bear to risk my friendships. It is a big question mark, in my head all the time.]

Yes, I need a post-it to remind myself and Yes, I expect her not to come into my room anymore.

I'm Alive in Ningbo (2)

Well I think I shouldn't neglect my blog although I claim that my Facebook is kind of updated.
PS: I saved this as a draft about 1 month ago

Recall of what I've been doing and been through so far (think of me 1 month ago)

1. University of Nottingham Ningbo Campus - This is my home in China, my hang out place, my study campus. With green environment and confusing buildings (they have identical buildings with different names and I got them mixed up when I was rushing to class once), I like this place as the campus to live and study in.

The famous clock tower of Nottingham

The infamous and my personal favourite Nottingham mascot - DUCKie!

2. Walmart, Tesco, Metro & Carrefour - I've been to these 4 major super centres (not super markets) to get my groceries and spent A LOT initially til I was broke.

My room with stickers (and I still do walk pass my room once in awhile without realising I miss my door)

3. Bank of China - The bank has made my life miserable as I could see my money in my account but couldn't withdraw them due to unavailability of my passport during the critical period.

If you ask me what I will miss in China, I will definitely say DQ, the best ever er.... ice cream I supposed :P

4. Taobao - Living in China, having a Taobao and Alipay (支付宝) account is a MUST. This is the place to get cheap cheap stuff and still live like a queen in Ningbo, the rather expensive city to live in.

If you think buying from the shop itself is expensive, then Taobao - a place where you can almost anything

5. Street Food - When you are hungry, lazy to cook, dislike being cheated by 'Black Restaurant' in the campus, then think of street food, a place where you can get a BIG bowl of noodle at 6yuan (RM3).

I can't get rid of my bad habit, to buy snack everytime I go to night market; and from day to night, this street is always opened. And so, most of my meals are snacks. Feel so sorry for my health.

6.Tiayi Square, Wanda Plaza - For shopping, food and entertainment

3 yuan Mapo Taufu?! (RM1.50 Mapo Taufu?!?!?!)

Lastly, I realise I don't know how to self-capture photo due to lack of practise.

Unfortunately crazy amount of dusts in Ningbo causes my face to have rashes all the time :'(((

I'm Alive in Ningbo

Just in case I lose my memory in the future and have no idea why I hadn't posted anything these days...

I wanted to blame China firewall then Freegate...
But come to think of it, it's my own problem, for keeping myself so busy, with I have no idea what.

So about 1.5 months ago, I received an email 'Essay Composition Competition - The Moving Moment... 300words for English essay...' I was telling myself you should join since it's 300 words, how hard can it be? I personally am someone who gets moved very extremely easily. Honestly, I've shed numerous tears since I reached Ningbo, for dramas, for emails, for seeing my parents through Skype.
...
......
.........
After 1.5 months, this piece of document had never appeared until 30 minutes before deadline. Here it goes:

The Moving Moment

October has always been my favourite month of the year, no other complicated reasons but simply because it is the month where I was borned. It is also a month where I get to meet friends who are busy with studies and work and have no free time to meet up. It has been the traditional among us for years. However, it is different this year, the first ever time I did not get to celebrate birthday with my closest, dearest ones…

                October was a cooling month in Ningbo, China since it was autumn already. Life was filled with lectures, seminars, several talks and club activities. Hence, my friends and I decided to travel to somewhere nearby for a weekend getaway, Xitang. As the trip organizer, my head was filled with crucial information to make sure the trip was a pleasant and wonderful one. On the second day of the trip, it slipped through my mind it was my birthday until I received a message via WhatsApp in the morning from a very good friend of mine who was also far away from home, in UK. Although it was a simple ‘Happy Birthday!’ wish, I was moved; not for she remembered my birthday, but because we were both far away from home and needed warm messages to cure homesick.

                Later the day when we got back to Ningbo, we were all exhausted and picked a nearby restaurant to have light dinner. It was an awful dinner and everyone was thinking about their beds badly. All of the sudden, I heard someone singing birthday song. I was totally shocked and got teary when I saw a birthday cake. It was totally unpredictable because my friends made up stories to slip away and got me a lovely cake. ‘It is your 20^th birthday. How can you not have a cake on your big day?’

 

                When I got back to dormitory, I did my usual daily routines, to check emails and other notifications. I felt warm on my cheeks when I was reading emails and messages received, all wishing me a blessed birthday in China, sending from wherever my friends and family members were.

My first ever birthday in overseas, celebrated in warmth. And, as usual my birthday wishes are to have a peaceful world, friends and families all in good health and smile always. Moved, the only word to describe my 20^th birthday.

Happy 20th Birthday, Denise :)

If this reflects a Malaysian student's writing skills, I am so sorry. I feel extremely bad for representing Malaysia Campus in such way :(

Goodbyessss...

GOOD BYE DARLINGS! :)

I AM ALREADY IN NINGBO CHINA!

WAIT FOR ME TO BE BACK FOR MORE FUN AND JOY TOGETHER!

LOVE ♥~

 Most darling de darling ♥

 Sot sot darlings ♥

University darlings ♥

 College darlings ♥ 

 SMKSM darlings ♥ 

 Another 2 very sot darlings ♥

Pretty darlings ♥

 Primary school darlings ♥

Most important darlings ♥

AND OF COURSE OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS ♥!

*If I left out any, I am so sorry. You're always in my heart ♥.

Stress-free!

High, high! I'm so high! :D

Accounts of crazy schedule (25/5/2011 - 30/5/2011):
Wednesday - Exam finished at 7pm. Right after that, I attended my cohort's party. 12am - 4am sang karaoke.

Thursday - Woke up at 9am although slept at 5am. Sang karaoke (again) 1pm - 4pm. Chatted with friends until 6pm.

Friday - Woke up at 6am to get my passport done. Went out with Kit Yin. Immediately after that, I drove to uni to meet with friends to have dinner at Subang. Reached home at 2am.

 
Saturday - Stood at Putrajaya and waited for Super Junior M since 2pm. They appeared at 10pm and ended 1 hour later.

Sunday - Went back to Kepong until 4pm and rested the rest of the day.


Monday - Went out at 10.30am to watch 2 movies - Fast & Furious 5 and Kung Fu Panda 2.

I need to SLEEP!

Exam Stress?

I discovered this while clearing my uni email inbox.


How will you know if you are stressed?

• Physical: headaches, neck ache, stomach problems
• Mood: Irritability, tearfulness, feeling low or anxious
• Behaviour: sleeping problems, increase or decrease in appetite, difficulty in concentrating

Let's see whether I am stressed.

• Physically, I have not much problem. Maybe some dizziness due to reading too many words and don't understand a single key point that they are trying to tell. Neck ache mainly due to sitting posture.
• Irritability? I think so. Tearfulness - yawn too much. Feeling low? Not before papers commence cos I always drink either coffee or chicken essence so I go really high. Anxious? Hell yeah for not knowing what to write.
• Sleeping problems? Oh I must complaint about this. My body alarm is very accurate; I wake up at 8am sharp regardless what time I sleep. But still I sleep like a pig in the afternoons. Decrease in appetite unfortunately. Cannot concentrate cos too many dramas and variety shows waiting for me?!

Exam rocks!

Running Man makes my day bright and shine! :D

Let the war continue!!! Fighting!

 Oh they even recommend ways to cope with stress:

1. Food and Drink: Try to eat at least one proper, healthy balanced meal a day. *Thanks to home meals.
2. Exercise: Taking some form of exercise each day is beneficial. It can help to relax tense muscles and the increased blood flow round your body can help you to think more clearly. You don’t have to do anything strenuous. *Yoga and walking to market.
3. Sleep: Get as much rest as you can; 6 to 8 hours a night are recommended. It is ideal to lie down and rest your eyes, body, and mind even if sleep is disturbed for quite a long period, though this may not be at your absolute peak of performance. *6 hours with nap.
4. Study Pattern: Take regular breaks from studying. When you notice that you are distracted, get up and take a break. If this happens repeatedly, try studying in very short bursts of time, bringing down the time you set until it is manageable. *Definitely a failure for me.
5. Study Skills: Effective study skills can reduce stress by making you feel more in control of your work. It is not always necessary to cover every aspect of the module in detail. *That's what everyone's doing, spot question and study as little as possible.
6. Make Time for Relaxation: Even in the 4 weeks leading up to the exams, it is important to give yourself time off to do something you will enjoy. The occasional evening out or a few hours at the weekend will remind you that the world does not consist only of exams and academic achievement and should also help you to feel more mentally refreshed. *My mind is always full of stuff other than academic-related ones (notice there's no comma after 'stuff'). Tsk tsk.

So Management Accounting and Law B, I shall make you mine :)

Torture

I'm torturing myself till death.

Today is Tuesday.

Thursday is my Business Finance paper. What do I know about Finance? Dunno.

Friday is my People and Organisation paper. Can I write 2 50marks worth of essay? Dunno.

Next Tuesday is Management, Accounting and Decision paper. Haven't touched even the notes.

Next Wednesday is Business Law B paper. Can I crap in the paper? Doubt so.


Yay!
I'm super duper hyper good!

New wallpaper :)
No matter how tired I am, I just gotta look at them and smile.

Oo-mii-gosh

I discovered more negative stuff about you.
No.
It should be someone told someone more negative stuff about you and that someone told me everything.
So scary.
Dark.

This is the power of GOSSIPing.
Tsk tsk.

You

I've known you since last September, in our very own university.
You're considered as a late-comer so I guided you through some simple procedures since we're both taking the same course.
We had lunch together for several times and shared our stories.
It was great to talk to you.
You then started to ask me questions about lectures and tutorials.
I understand that you missed out some lessons so it's out of my courtesy and kindness to answer each of your questions and teach you to solve problems that you dunno.
You then called me almost everyday.
We're different.
I don't do my homework unless they're my favourite subjects and/or the day before the discussion.
Thanks to you, I forced myself to complete the work to answer your questions.

I even told everyone that thanks to you, I spent only 6 hours in the midnight of the deadline to complete the assignment.
I remember for that very assignment, you're desperate in need for me to clear your doubts but I told myself I had done my best to explain everything to you and I didn't owe you anything.
So I rejected your calls.
When I finally answered your call while I was in the middle of something, I told you that I needed to finish my stuff before I could help you.
'Faster! I wanna finish it now!' was what you told me.
Hello?! I needed time to finish my own work also. Didn't you have any other options than coming to me?
Yeah. You turned to others. And those others came back to me and told me you're really desperate to even look for them.

During study week, you constantly called me up to check on me, whether I had started studying or not.
When I told you the truth, that I hadn't started studying although exam was just few days ahead, 'You don't crap la you!' was what you replied.
So I even came to a point to think that you're an evil woman, that wanna stop me from studying so that I don't do well for my finals.

I've tried my very best to treat you better, as in not shouting at you or being emotional (raising my voice) when you're doing/asking something that I'm not comfortable with.
I've tried thinking from your point of view. Maybe you purely wanna work very hard, desperate for help and the only way you know is to get help from friends.
However, no matter how bad I treat you (said by others), you're still very thick-skin to continue seeking for my help.
Thank you for treating me as your friend (if you really do).
Thank you for being tolerance.
I've tried thinking from your point of view. Maybe you think I still have the value of being used.
You still need my help so you can't afford to treat me badly.

I tell myself that from now on, I need to train and increase my EQ.
I gotta tolerate.
I gotta treat your questions and queries calmly and with a smile.
This is a promise to myself :)
No matter what you have in your mind, I'm gonna think that helping friends is a way of being kind.

*Even if you're reading this, I don't mind because I actually hope you know how I think about you. But, it's quite a fat chance as my university friends dunno the url of my blog and I display it nowhere in the cyberworld. I even disabled Google from letting others to discover my blog. The only way you can know this blog's url is through mutual friends that have this link saved on their blog and they are not Notts.

Patience

Since I've written these down on my sticky notes:
*Don't login to Facebook until this friday (18/2) - only see facebook updates thru email.
*Don't appear online in WLM till this sunday (20/2).
I shall use my blog as a place to 'share what's on my mind'.

Oh IN CASE you are curious why I wrote the above two statements, I wanna test whether I can survive without Facebook and signing into WLM to peek on people's personal messages.
So far, the 1st test is not a really successful one as I still logged into Facebook yesterday to add a friend and sent a few personal messages. However, I replied those messages with email and I stayed in Facebook for about... 5 minutes? Good one! *patting my back*

Back to the title.
DAMN YOU MOTORBIKERS! Can't you take care of your own safety instead of the other motorists avoiding you just because we don't wanna get into trouble?! There goes my tyre rim! DAMN YOU!!! If I drove slightly faster, I think my car would have gone to the opposite direction. CIS!!!

Semester 2 so far...
The economics lecturer made me laugh for one whole day today. Seriously no offence. He reminds me of my Biology teacher in form5 where I couldn't control myself and laughed at her pronunciations. I feel sooooooo bad.
Re-ve-nue is pronounced as Re as in REpeat, Ve-nue as in VeNue (refers to place).
To make sure I didn't pronounce REVENUE in a wrong way for so many years, I checked online. So I laughed!
And he pronounced the LU in Il-lu-strate as in LUlu. This time, I am wrong!!! According to the website I surfed (refer to the link above), he pronounced it correctly! Aiks! I have been pronouncing ILLUSTRATE wrongly for so many years.

Next, I call myself as anti-socialist in university as I always rush back home right after classes and don't have a friendly face. [basically can't help with the not-so-friendly face. However I'm trying to smile whenever and wherever I go]
But still, for some reasons, I'm quite well-known among strangers (more than ONE stranger know me). Am I well-known for good or bad? This is yet to be discovered.
Am I still an anti-socialist if I say HI/HELLO to Hi-Bye coursemates?

Old...

'You look old with your new hair style.'
I've heard this for many times.
Thanks for the comment.

'You look prettier with your new hair colour.'
‘大个女了！变靓了！’
Thank you very much for the compliments.

Old vs. Pretty:
I feel like an old person now.
I feel lost.
I feel demotivated, as always.

I feel momentary happy when someone says I'm pretty.
I am speechless when they continue with 'Do you boyfriend?'
I feel empty.

I should stick to my New Year Resolution which is to complain less.
Less doesn't mean never.
Allow me.
The people in my university have weird characteristics that I dislike, but I dunno how to describe.
Stop blaming people when the problem is mostly on yourselves. Cheh!

Goodbye, Sem 1 of Year 1

This is it. The end of Computers in Business, Entrepreneurship & Business, Business Law A, Economy & Society, Business Economics A and Financial Accounting 1.

No feeling at all.
Ya lo.
Like that lo.
Ended lo.

Meanwhile, finished A LOT of downloaded videos (thanks to Unifi :D).
I finished Secret Garden in 3 days, including an exam day.
It's awesome and I couldn't resist watching it.

Er... Aren't you worried about your result?
Bah... I'll start thinking, not worrying, about it on the result day itself.

Boring. Watched too many dramas and videos until I also dunno what I'm doing.
Sick of Facebook games too.
Seeking for beneficial activities.

Bye, Business Law A

Farewell, Business Law A!
Contract Law: Offer, acceptance, intention, consideration, privity, capacity.......
Tort Law.
Employment Law.

However......
Coming soon - Hello, Business Law B.

FAINT.

The End of 1st Sem

Hurray!
1st sem has just ended - excluding 4 final papers.
No more freaking Computers in Business group report & presentation and poster presentation & exhibition for Entrepreneurship & Business.
No more Entrepreneurship & Business, Business Economics A and Economy & Society individual essays that don't make sense at all.

What left are the scary Business Law A, Business Economics A -ve marking MCQs, Financial Accounting and crapping Economy & Society.

So far...
I don't hate my university life, at least until now.
I've trained myself to be ignorant in certain things.

BUT...
I tortured myself too.
I hadn't done coursework before this, neither individual nor group work.
So, the 1st coursework I handed in was the one I mentioned before, individual.
I kept checking for grammar, spelling and formatting mistakes.
This is my style, at least I try my best not to annoy my examiners with terrible sentence structures and grammar mistakes.
However for group report, others just couldn't care less. They care about their own activities (I care too, but at the very last week, I sacrificed all my other work just for it) more than this report.
I even went to uni at 12pm and reached home at 12am on the Sunday before the deadline.
WHAT THE?!
So do I get YOUR marks by doing everything myself (with another member that cares about her work just like me)?
Hell no!
Do I get YOUR marks by doing my part of slideshows and presenting them?
Freaking no!
The best thing of all is that the lecturer gave OUR presentation a word - EXCELLENT.
I hope the same for the report too.

Oh well! Free from assignments temporary! DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA!!! :D

Specially done for my desktop ;)
(the slideshow function seems to be malfunctioning and makes my laptop go haywire too)